Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Fuck Diabetes...

I don't think I've talked about it on this blog.  Not because it's some grand secret or anything, but just... I didn't feel like talking about it.  I have diabetes.  Type 2.  I've had it for about 6 years or so.  I know that for a lot of diabetics, it's one of the first things you learn about them.  And that's probably wise.  For me, I am tired of talking about it.  It's also a way to push it to the back of my mind, though... and that's not a very good place for it.

It has been brought to the forefront these last couple days, though.  I had my quarterly appointment with my endocrinologist yesterday.  She wasn't pleased with me, but I was less concerned about incurring her ire and more concerned about the results of the tests she ordered.  I knew I already had some damage to my kidneys, and I was fearing the worst for the outcome of the test.  I got the results back this evening, and thankfully the damage has not progressed.  To say this was an immense relief would be an immense understatement.  I was having visions of being sent to a nephrologist to have bad news delivered.

I bring this up because I need to be a better patient.  First, let me say... I DO NOT want anyone leaving me comments and telling me I need to live a low carb lifestyle.  Seriously, I don't wanna hear it.  That said, I do need to be doing a lowER carb diet.  I still plan to cook lots of delicious recipes, but I'm going to have smaller portions of more carb-y stuff, with a lot more veggies.  Since I began this blog, I haven't been paying much attention to carbs, nor have I been having anything resembling a sufficient number of veggies.  Time to work on that.  I also plan to cut corners on extra fat and calories where I can, without sacrificing the quality of the dish.  {Which may be a matter of experimenting, I realize...}

In the interest of making something healthier and less carbalicious, I made Modenese Pork Chops for dinner today.  I cut the amount of butter in half, using 2 tbsp instead of 4.  It was more than enough to brown the pork chops, but obviously I ended up with less sauce in the end.  My initial plan had been to use a little broth, but we weren't really going to use the sauce, so I figured it would be okay to have less of it.  This recipe was really delicious, I gotta say.  I'm still new to cooking with wine, and I just find it amazing how much flavor wine can impart into a dish.  This recipe was so simple, mostly healthy, and had flavor for days.  If anyone reading this is unsure about cooking with wine -- COOK WITH WINE!  {Also, I've had it from knowledgeable folks... don't buy the stuff labeled "cooking wine".  It often is just as expensive as a cheap bottle of wine meant for drinking, but is apparently generally a lower quality and may have salt added to it.  I can't vouch for the veracity of this statement, but... I am told.}

Also, today was another trip to Penzeys.  I'm planning on making a recipe in which it was suggested to use European pepper, and decided to go looking for it.  I found it, along with a few other things, of course.  I don't think it's possible to go in there and buy only one thing and come out.  Not for me, anyway.  I think Hubby was one more jar of spices in my hand away from dragging me out by my ear.

Now, tonight, I'm trying to keep myself calm and relaxed.  I'm bipolar, and have a pretty severe anxiety disorder, thus, I am well medicated.  I saw my psychiatrist today, and she decided to switch me from the regular formula of a medication to the XR formula.  The regular formula relatively literally saved my life.  I was entirely dysfunctional by the time it was prescribed, and it made me somewhat normal again.  Therefore it is a terrifying prospect, to have it tinkered with.  I still deal with some issues, though, and she said there's the potential the XR formula would improve things.  I agreed to try it, but with much trepidation.  There's no sleeping for me without the medication, and I fear the XR won't have a sedating enough effect to help me sleep.  Right now I'm feeling tired, but not as drowsy as I had hoped.  So I am struggling to keep my mind occupied, my breathing deep and slow and my body relaxed until I feel I can sleep.  Hopefully that will be sooner than later.

Sleep well, folks in blog land!

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